A rock star at home

I was just hanging out at home jamming out on a Sunday morning when this photo was taken. I was playing “One Meat Ball” by Josh White. I’ll post a demo sometime.

 

FUNK! Not 4/4!

I was listening to some old ramblings I’d recording and came across this wild idea of doing funk in not 4/4 time! It took me a while to get a grip on the part I sang to get the idea down, and I have no idea where it came from inside me body, but I like it! So I made a little ditty and added sax and whatnot to fill it out.

First person who leaves a comment naming the meter of this tune gets a dollar!

p.s. I just noticed that this mp3’s creation time was 4:20 p.m. on 4/20! Ha!!!!!! Why not?

My cistern joke is number one in the universe!

I was reading my own blog (a highly enjoyable task, as you bloggers surely know) and it occurred to me that the phrase “cistern joke”, in one of the headlines, was pretty odd. Pretty unusual, if you know what I mean. So I googled it in quotes, and guess what?! My blog came up as the number one hit! The other two hits weren’t even actually jokes, so I win! I coined a new category on the information superhighway! Stay tuned right here for more ground-breaking humor.

Improved sayings and a cistern joke

Here’s a joke that went over REALLY well at a party last week:

Q: What did the cistern say to the hippie?

A: I’m not well man.

 

In addition, I am starting a page for my Improved Sayings. These are sayings of any sort, be they pick-up-lines, proverbs, idioms, etc. You name it, I’ll improve it! For example: 

Original saying: Everything in moderation.

Improved saying: Everything immoderation.

Ha! Pow! Shazam, wiegele!

Some brilliant ideas

I have come up with a few brilliant ideas in the last couple weeks, let me see if I can remember them all:

1. Scooter Skins–this is my first million for sure, baybee! For those who have a dinky moped and want to be really cool or ironic, buy a Scooter Skin that converts your scooter into a Harley or a crotch rocket. This would be made of two or three plastic pieces that simply snap around your model of scooter in seconds! Want to look like you’re riding Harry Potter’s broom, or driving a monster truck? Buy yourself a Scooter Skin! Just $19.99 plus shipping! Then you can buy extra add-ons, too, like super-high Hog handlebars and such.

2. Here’s a name for a pizza parlor: Slow’s Pizza. As in “Slow’s Pizza: We Deliver!” Don’t misunderstand–it’s not *Slow* Pizza–that has some negative connotations. It’s *Slow’s* Pizza. As in, Hi, My name is Slow! Welcome to my Pizza Parlor!

3. I don’t think I came up with this one (maybe you can tell me who did) but it’s worth mentioning. You should try this one when you are watching a supposedly really scary film at the theater, right at the beginning before you even know who’s who, and there is no tension yet. When someone is walking into a door (say, the front door of their house) yell out “No, don’t go through that door!” As if you were watching a horror movie in 1957 and couldn’t contain yourself. Ha!

Song and Dance!

I’m happy to say that I have a welcome song for you. It’s called “Hello!” I made it this morning.

 Also, for your visual pleasance, I have two photos from a midnight spelunking session with the lovely Jennifer. One photo is me, one is her!   

p.s.

I’m going to just pretend nobody’s out there, okay? I won’t mind if you comment, and I’ll respond and all, but as far as being concerned about the quality of my posts and stuff, I just can’t do that, okay? Deal! 

Peep peep!

Hey world! Here I am! This is the big moment you never knew you were waiting for! Who knows, maybe this will be the blog to end all blogs? Maybe it will unite the blogosphere, or the biosphere, or whatever! And here I sit in a dark projection booth, showing “Hollywood Chinese” to a bunch of unsuspecting patrons of the Wisconsin Film Festival. Not particularly auspicious, but then again, what is these days? Here’s hopin’!